It seems like Andrew is out of town all of the time! If it's not for young mens its work. I miss him a lot and I am running out of patience with the kids. Malekai is having such a hard time letting me know what he wants (I can't make out the words he's saying..they all sound the same) so he hits and throws tantrums and screams a shriek like girl scream that can pierce just about anybody's ears. Oh..so delightful.
Aylee loves to tell me what she can and can't do. If I ask her not to do something she will shoot back with a comment like "I'm fine mom. I can make my own choices and do what I want to do." If that doesn't add fuel to the fire! It's aggravating how things that I teach her backfire. I did teach her that she has to make her own choices and that she has to choose to do the right or wrong thing but I guess she's not understanding the consequence to every action part.
Oh, and when did reading scriptures and praying become such a chore? I'm wondering if this is what people mean when they say its hard to do. I always thought it was because you didn't always understand what you were reading and didn't always get answers to your prayers right away but apparently it is actually hard open your scriptures even to read only one verse and to kneel down, dig deep and express your deepest gratitudes to your Heavenly Father. I'm also having a struggling knowing what I need help with to be able to ask Him for it.
Oh the humanity!
If it wasn't for sweet Damon I don't think I would be able to cope. As I am battling the other kids, picking up, preparing meals etc...that sweet boy sits quietly and waits for his chance to be noticed and as I look over at him he gives me the biggest smile possible and looks at me with his loving eyes and reminds me why I chose this life! I think it's Heavenly Father's way of reminding me how precious life really is.
Don't get me wrong, I do love ALL my kids! I am struggling as I am trying to handle their different stages at the same and thats why I vent my frustrations but I do love them very very much.
I have a lot of work to do...with myself but I know that I can get through this and that my Heavenly Father will be there for me through it all. I must remember......"This too shall pass."