It seems like Andrew is out of town all of the time! If it's not for young mens its work. I miss him a lot and I am running out of patience with the kids. Malekai is having such a hard time letting me know what he wants (I can't make out the words he's saying..they all sound the same) so he hits and throws tantrums and screams a shriek like girl scream that can pierce just about anybody's ears. Oh..so delightful.
Aylee loves to tell me what she can and can't do. If I ask her not to do something she will shoot back with a comment like "I'm fine mom. I can make my own choices and do what I want to do." If that doesn't add fuel to the fire! It's aggravating how things that I teach her backfire. I did teach her that she has to make her own choices and that she has to choose to do the right or wrong thing but I guess she's not understanding the consequence to every action part.
Oh, and when did reading scriptures and praying become such a chore? I'm wondering if this is what people mean when they say its hard to do. I always thought it was because you didn't always understand what you were reading and didn't always get answers to your prayers right away but apparently it is actually hard open your scriptures even to read only one verse and to kneel down, dig deep and express your deepest gratitudes to your Heavenly Father. I'm also having a struggling knowing what I need help with to be able to ask Him for it.
Oh the humanity!
If it wasn't for sweet Damon I don't think I would be able to cope. As I am battling the other kids, picking up, preparing meals etc...that sweet boy sits quietly and waits for his chance to be noticed and as I look over at him he gives me the biggest smile possible and looks at me with his loving eyes and reminds me why I chose this life! I think it's Heavenly Father's way of reminding me how precious life really is.
Don't get me wrong, I do love ALL my kids! I am struggling as I am trying to handle their different stages at the same and thats why I vent my frustrations but I do love them very very much.
I have a lot of work to do...with myself but I know that I can get through this and that my Heavenly Father will be there for me through it all. I must remember......"This too shall pass."
8 comments:
Amber,
When I read posts like this it makes me feel normal again. It seems like it come in spurts around here. I feel good and then BAM...the kids are all simultaneously going crazy...in turn sending me to the loony bin. Sure love you, and don't worry, it's totally normal in my opinion.
Can I "ditto" everything Brooke said?!!? I think it's just "life", some days are great/good & some days....well they just kind of suck. How are you guys otherwise?
I love this post Amber! Although it may not be comforting to you, it is comforting to me to know that there are others who feel the same way I do at times. Those "crazy" days can be so difficult and I know how it can be without the hubby around. Life can get crazy fast! I hope things are getting a little easier for you, you are such an amazing mother! Oh, and congrats on the 5K!
Oh amber your so cute. You are like the most patient person I know, maybe if you allowed yourself to blow up once in a while and let out a little steam!! Ha Ha jk but your seriously always so calm and handle everything with ease. We all have bad days but just remember even though we don't live next door, you still have lots of friends that love you!!
My sister, how I adore you!!! If only I could be more like you. I have only been a mom for half the time you have and I'm double as crazy. Plus, I don't have nearly as much on my plate everyday. I say you are doing great! Just hang in there then the moments come that are so smooth, peaceful, and perfect that we remember it is all worth it.
Wow! Us mothers gotta stick together. We all have those same feelings and only express them occasionally. You are fabulous and your kids are gonna grow up to write essays about you being the most important and admired person in their lives. I have a little tear...
Hey Amber. I just stumbled across your blog and can't believe how much your kids have grown! Last time I saw you, you were playing volleyball (while pregnant!). My husband said both Andrew and you stopped him the other day at the movie theater. I would ABSOLUTELY LOVE to play volleyball with you guys! I tried finding you on facebook, but that didn't work. Will you find me? (Lauren Bateman Deets). I'm sorry that you are struggling with the challenges that come with being a mom. I think a lot of us are in the same boat. It's frustrating and hard, but with faith and hope.. we will get through the hard times (nothing you don't already know).
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